The Insecure Writers Support Group
Earlier this year, I joined Alex Cavanaugh’s monthly blog hop, The Insecure Writers Support Group, aimed at providing a once monthly post and hop where writers can talk about their fears, concerns and offer support to fellow writers. My first and only post was a decision that it wasn’t for me at that time. It was all a matter of perception for me you see. I didn’t want to be seen as insecure. I didn’t want anyone to see that I was fallible. Especially not those who could, potentially, at some point, be interested in my work. This all changed a couple of weeks ago when I decided that the person behind my writing, me, has to be honest and genuine and not be swayed by the view I was seeing, looking up at those I was aspiring to be like. The post where I make this decision and stand is here.
It all seems quite timely now, considering all the talk on the internet about sockpuppeteering. A dishonest practice where published authors have been found to have not only have been giving themselves rave Amazon reviews, but also trying to bring the average reviews down of fellow authors, by leaving slating one star reviews. The anger and activity this has sparked has led to press interest, pushed largely by the activity of fury and outrage of fellow authors.
For me, it has led to a desire to pull away a little from the idea of where I wanted to be. As a writer. Yes, I absolutely still want to write and I still want to have readers. I have more ideas running through my head than I have time to deal with. I want to sit behind my laptop and type. What I have concerns about is joining the ranks of being a published author.
My Twitter timeline has been the most ridiculously stressful place recently. It’s full of anger and it’s constant, and while I understand that it is important in the world of writing and publishing, and yes, it is the livelihoods of some authors, the incessant anger and tunnel vision is making my head hurt. It absolutely is important that writers play by the rules and are fair and leave other writers to get on with their work, but what’s that phrase… sticks and stones…
Tell me my words are crap and yes it will hurt, I’ve been slaving over them for what feels like a lifetime, but if you tell me my words are crap, as long as there wasn’t a literal knife in your hand and you didn’t just stick it in my gut, then really, don’t read anything else I write. I have a job I love. A career. I see people really getting hurt and I don’t see this level of drama surrounding it. People need to take a step back and breath a minute.
Anyway, my point in this post is that I’m actually beginning to become afraid of becoming a published writer. I’m not sure I want to join a world that can’t see past the keyboard, where colleagues contractual disciplinary errors are played out so vividly and so emotionally in such a public way. Social networking is a place without boundaries and as long as you believe you are in the right, you can use it at will to wield whatever big stick you feel like. There is immense power within Twitter and I’m not sure people realise just how much.
I want to write, but I’m afraid of what becoming published will do to me.
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There are spaces available for guest posts on Mondays. If you’re interested in guest posting on the blog, please get in touch with me via email. rebecca.bradley2010@gmailcom
You know something, I am pretty certain that the vast majority of writers go through this. I wanted to say ‘every’ but that would be massively assumptious of me. I had a real fear of major success and being shot down for my flaws and imploding and then leaving a wet, sticky mess behind. As someone who’s suffered from depression and prone to acute sensitivity; entering a life where you need a skin of a rhino – it didn’t look like a smart move! But this is what I am, I’m a writer. You could weigh it up.
Yes you could be a target for tossers but the flipside is, is that you get to be read by people the world over and set off sparks that inspire the imagination of others. For me that’s way more powerful than some acid tongued troll or saddo critic spewing out bile in cyberspace who will never know you. You do what Posh Spice does to all her detractors, ignore it, don’t read it, don’t give them the satisfaction of your time and attention. You get bullies everywhere, I wish it wasn’t so. The Ellory/Billingham thing was shocking though. So pathetic.
Thanks Yasmin. I love the imagery of your imploding, wet sticky mess! That’s kind of what it felt like I would be heading into.
I’m still writing, which is the important thing. I’m just not enjoying seeing the so very public slanging matches to be honest. I think the days of writers being able to be reclusive are long gone, it’s now a matter of finding that middle ground.
Rebecca – I think a lot of writers face that question for a variety of reasons. It’s one you have to ask yourself too because it’s not easy to write. It’s even harder to be published. If this helps you at all, I know of many, many published authors who wouldn’t even consider the kind of behaviour you describe. They are decent people who want to tell their stories. Only you can decide of course what you will do. But honestly, it’s not completely a jungle out there…
Margot, thank you. I know that many people would not engage in such public battles, it’s just sitting and watching one, makes you think doesn’t it. I know plenty of perfectly lovely writers and I’m reply to one right now 🙂
It can hurt on the other side, but it beats the pain of knowing you never tried.
The bad words can’t really hurt us. But you know what? The positive ones can shoot us to the moon. It’s worth it!
That’s the problem Alex, not trying and having regrets. It’s why I’m still doing the revisions and planning out the next piece of work I want to do. It’s all still there and I know I will try, I think this is about taking a step back for me and seeing that actually, there is more to life as well, and that’s no bad thing.
Think of it like this: you want to reach readers. That’s your main goal. So you’d need to be published to reach as many readers as possible. Everything else doesn’t matter, as long as you can reach that end goal 🙂
Thanks Ravena. I do want readers to read my work. I just don’t think I feel such an urgency about it now. I will still achieve my goals, but this has made me assess where I am and what I want.
I get why you’d have that fear of being published. Drama aside, the prospect of putting your soul out there for the perusal of strangers is a little frightening. But when it works, it’s a wonderful thing. As for all of the drama that’s been going on lately, I think it’s every author’s choice as to just how much involvement you end up having in that stuff. Opinions are divided, but I honestly don’t care what any other author is doing to promote their work. I have enough to to worry about with my own work and my own career than to worry about someone else gaming the system. And the same goes for negative reviews . . . let them come. It wouldn’t help me in any way to respond if and when they do. As you said, sticks and stones.
Be true to yourself! That’s what matters! Good luck.
J.W. Alden
Thank you for a wonderfully sensible and helpful reply. It is a matter of choice for the people getting involved and for me, it’s not something that I will ever want to do. It’s so easy to whip people up into a frenzy and it seems rational thought and the ability to reassess disappears once it goes into the public arena. Wishing you lots of luck with your work and your career!
Wow, I didn’t know anything about that “sockpuppeteering” thing. I think people have become too competitive, but I guess it’s a competitive world. I used to live in NYC until I moved to Egypt and de-stressed my life (not to mention got rid of ulcers). I’m so much happier now.
Welcome to IWSG! 🙂
Lexa, I can imagine the pace in life is incredibly different from NYC to Egypt!
I think I’m really going to enjoy being a part of the IWSG 🙂
My IWSG post today is all about the juicing of book reviews. It’s a sickening practice, and I’m disappointed in those authors who do it. But from the response to my post, it seems, like me, most readers do not put much stock in reviews or ratings anyway. They choose books based mostly on recommendations from those they know and respect and who know and respect them.
As far as fearing the reviews, as an author whose book is poised for release next month, it scares the hell out of me. I just received my first 3-star rating on Goodreads last week, my first rating less than 5. I was surprised by how little it stung. I’m not sure why really, except to say I know how subjective the business is.
I’m struggling through a NY Times bestseller right now, Mockingjay, and am ready to toss it aside. Yet most people loved this book. In reality, reviews mean very little, except perhaps to the reviewer. So don’t let that stop you from doing something you love or are good at. I can tell you, when you’ve put in so much work and that moment finally happens, when you get your agent or book deal, there’s simply nothing better. This from another insecure writer, #46 on Alex’s IWSG list.
Thanks for visiting Nancy and wishing you so much luck with your release next month!
Reading and taste is so subjective I don’t see how you can rely on someone elses opinion on a book to drive your own decisions. I think they should all be taken with a pinch of salt and your own decision making process put into play.
Firstly, don’t be afraid of being published. It’s your dream – go for it.
Secondly – I think lots of writers are struggling to work out this new fangled ‘connecting with fans’ thing. Jane Austen, Charles Dickens, Arthur Conan Doyle… they didn’t have to think about their readers. They’d get letters, which they could ignore. Now, people can follow you on Twitter – if they tell you they like your novel, you’d better reply otherwise you suddenly find some rather unflattering reviews cropping up. It’s a whole new ballgame. When I was 15 and dreaming of being a writer, I was also dreaming of being a recluse… because in 19… mumble mumble you could be a writer and a recluse. Not anymore. So you’ll find everyone is struggling with their public persona – but writers SHOULD be more real than, say, an actor who makes their living being lots of different people. You are you… enjoy that!
Annalisa, oh the days of being a recluse. Now there’s wishful thinking. Time is never going to be the same again with the invention of social networks and the internet. Everything is far too instant. I think it’s this that is the problem. It doesn’t give people time to think or to adjust their views before spouting something else off.
I am still writing, so I do think I will query again, but I’m not feeling as rushed or as though it’s as urgent.
Just popping by from the IWSG, hi 🙂
Good for you honey, in deciding to be more open and honest. I don’t think a publisher/agent would think any less of you for admitting how you feel once a month 🙂
Let’s face it, being published IS a scary business. The thought of getting bad reveiws, genuine bad reviews terrifies me! Lol
Good luck!
Xx
Thanks for stopping by Vikki. It’s a scary business we are wanting to join isn’t it and to be honest, I think the only way to survive it is to be true to yourself. Here’s to being genuine and taking things at a steady pace.
Definitely Rebecca 🙂
Xx
I’ve noticed a lot of people talking about this too. But I figure if I get published I won’t worry about the reviews. There will always be bad ones, whether they are faked or not.
Absolutely Alison. Reading is subjective. Not everyone will like what we write. It’s natural. Knowing that before going into it is a helpful mindset to have I’d imagine. I think this whole thing has probably helped me assess and recognise where I want to be.
Hi Rebecca.
What a heartfelt post. I definitely feel your angst, but do bear in mind that this silly business has only been adopted by a very small minority in the publishing world. Most authors are lovely and wouldn’t dream of doing such a thing.
Also, readers are intelligent, savvy people who look at all the facts before they make a decision. Most of my books have been sold by word of mouth and recommendation and I still think this is our best marketing tool. I love a good recommendation – look at the Despatcher;)
Being published can be frightening at first. I don’t dwell on reviews. Most of them are up there for weeks before I notice them.
Please don’t let this recent business put you off. If your blog is anything to go by, you have a great deal to offer and I can’t wait to read your work.
Take care, my friend.
Jane
x
Jane, you are right. There are only a few that are involved in this, but the problem is, they are big hitters and they are stirring up a real storm and very publicly. It makes me think that by having a blog and attempting to be honest, and having a place to talk to people who have similar interests and idea’s, is actually a good idea. It gives us a grounding as we go through our journeys. A chance to see how people go through the journey to publication differently, and like this incident, how not to do things. We are building up networks and support systems and learning from each other and for me, I’m so glad I started blogging.
For one, I’ve found great friends like you. 🙂
It’s incredibly sad what’s happening in the publishing world. I know it will sort itself out but I’m trying to do what you’re doing in the meantime–just focus on my writing.
I think that’s the thing we need to remember Clarissa, that we need to just keep writing. As with everything, time will keep moving and this will just slip away and something else will take it’s place. It’s been incredibly weird to watch it play out so publicly though. I needed to step back. The blog has been a great place to do that. As well as my WIP. 🙂