This post is part of Alex Cavanaughs Insecure Writers Support Group. You can find further details and join up Here. But it does what it says on the tin!
This is a difficult post to write and one I have been mulling over for about a week. I always try to be honest on the blog – otherwise what’s the point in having a blog unless it’s a specific blog on gardening tips or just book reviews etc, but this isn’t. I like to show a more personal side. A bit of me.
But today, in showing that side, I get to show you the failure. And who likes to do that? It’s something that I’ve known and been dealing with for a while but I haven’t said anything. There’s a fear of being shunned by a group of people you want to be a part of, because you just can’t make it. There’s a fear of showing a further vulnerability.
Ok, so you get that this month, I’m in need of support not giving support right?! 😉
Shallow Waters, the novel that was out on submission failed to find a home. There was praise, but it still failed. It was the first in a series and I was some way through the second in the series and characters were reacting to events in the first, though there was a story that could stand on it’s own.
My contract with my agent has ended. I won’t go into details of which way around this worked or why. It’s not important. What is important is that it was professional and we even spoke via email this week. The point I’m saying is that I also don’t have an agent any more. I’m right back at the very beginning.
So, as you can imagine I’m in a bit of a weird place with my writing at at this moment and I’ve entered a bit of a writing flunk. I was still adding words to the current manuscript but only about 500 a day. Trying to write that second novel as though it was now a first book. My head and my heart were and are so confused. So I threw myself into reading more. Writers need to read. I thought I’d be inspired in the reading.
I have two idea’s for other series, but I’m stuck. I can’t seem to quite let go just yet of this one. The characters I’ve worked with for years, they’re there in my head still. How do I let them go and move on? Or do I keep persisting with this second novel and make it a first in a series?
Any wise words would be much appreciated.