This post is about my Saturday at Theakstons Crime Writing Festival, Harrogate. The difference with this post is that it is written from the comfort of my own home, from my laptop and with the chance of reflection, whereas the previous two posts were on the spot, on the day and from a mobile phone. Please forgive any shoddiness about the previous posts, considering the mobile phone entry thing. I’m not sure what my excuse can be about all other posts on this blog!
This post may have a bit of a different vibe today. There was a feeling I had on and off throughout the festival that I can highlight with events from Saturday.
That feeling is, as a new novelist currently attempting to take baby steps out into the world from behind my desk, that there is an awareness that I’m very much on the fringes of something I very much want to be a part of. This is something I am working very hard towards and don’t just expect to land in my lap. This feeling is very definitely owned by me and my own insecurities, as the crime crowd at Harrogate have to be the friendliest bunch of people I’ve ever met in one place.
I can evidence embarrassingly well, how much more of a fan I am, than a super cool, hip, writer – because that’s what I’ll become right? There will be the ugly duckling/swan thing going on at some point surely.
When I had the opportunity to speak with the author of a book I had read and and loved this year, which is, The Dispatcher by Ryan David Jahn, instead of being cool and hip and just telling him how great I thought his book was, I gushed. Really. I turned into some gibbering fan nutter. At which point Keith from Books And Writers was pulled over to Ryan by his very lovely head of publicity, for an interview. I then wailed at Keith not to take my favourite author away before finally getting a grip of the adult inside of myself and shutting up. Boy did I feel embarrassed.
The last event of Saturday was the very charming Harlan Coben who was interviewed on stage. He talked about the insecurities of being a writer. Of his self loathing. How he thinks, as he’s writing, that what he’s written is shit. Every single time. And then, how great his fans are and he loves to hear them say they love his work.
Listening to the honest insecurities of such an established and extremely successful author resonated within me. Really? When he writes, he feels the same way a new writer like myself feels? I will own up and say I haven’t read Harlan Coben but I do intend to go out and buy him simply because of the way he presented himself as a genuine guy who has a passion about writing. After the event interview, he stood in the bar area with everyone else rather than beating a path to some private area. It is something I really love about the Harrogate event – Did you get that I love this event yet?
I write crime. I love writing crime. I want readers to read and enjoy my work. This I know will take a lot of work, but for now, I very definitely have my nose pushed firmly up against the window and am looking in and one day, I hope to make it through the door, but I know, to keep writing, I must keep believing I have something better in me to come.
Margot Kinberg says
You will get there, Rebecca. I know you will.
Rebecca Bradley says
Thank you Margot. I intend to work very hard to get there and accept it’s a long haul.
Suzie Tullett says
A really honest and heartfelt post, Rebecca. Good luck with the writing and keep going forward x
Rebecca Bradley says
Thanks Suzie. I’ll keep working at it 🙂
Annalisa Crawford says
Perhaps even the successful writers aren’t as cool and hip in front of their favourite writers – I bet they have their own gushing moments, but maybe hide it a bit better. One day, Rebecca, one day… 🙂
Rebecca Bradley says
That’s what I need to learn – hide the gushing! One day hopefully 🙂
Murees Dupé says
The event sounded great. I am glad you enjoyed it and that you got to rub shoulders with some of the writers you like. I think that is just the best thing. I also think that I will need to stand in line to buy your crime novel soon.
Rebecca Bradley says
It really is a great event and one I hope will be a regular thing in my calendar. I also hope that I do have a crime novel out there one day 🙂 Thanks Murees.
helenphifer says
Ah a kindred spirit. I wandered around on Thursday in awe, here I was trying not to stalk my heroes but I was walking so close to them I could have touched them, (thankfully I contained myself, enough that I didn’t get arrested.) I felt exactly the same, I want to be a part of that world too. If anything the festival made me realise my ambitions and revitalised my enthusiasm for my novel which I feel as if I’ve been writing forever. It’s so refreshing to know that published writers have the same hang ups as us pre-published writers 😉
Good luck Rebecca with your writing, who knows maybe we could be taking part in the newbies panel in a couple of years.
Rebecca Bradley says
Thanks Helen. I may hopefully see you there next year. It is such a great place seeing the established and great writers being so approachable. There is a fine line for us to walk when we think they are So fabulous isn’t there?!
It is also great for bringing extra enthusiasm to our writing. I feel like a whole new person!
Julia Stagg says
I think every writer, published or unpublished, would give the world to have a reader who raves about their work, blogs about their work, and even dares to approach them to tell them in person how great they are. Gushing? Doubt Ryan David Jahn (see – I know his name thanks to you!) will have seen it that way. So don’t let it put you off next time or some other poor author will miss out on your praise!
Rebecca Bradley says
I really hope he took it in the way it was intended and not in an over-zealous stalkerish way! I have his latest book signed at the event to read yet, it may just send me over the edge 😉
Jane Isaac says
Hi Rebecca!
I’ve really enjoyed reading your feedback on the Harrogate festival, particularly as I didn’t make it there myself (*sighs*). Your post today makes it sound all the more appealing still. It’s interesting that established authors like Harlan Coben still harbour hang ups over their work, just like as newbies – kind of makes you feel a bit better, LOL!
I haven’t heard of The Dispatcher but will definitely give it a go as we appear to read the same material. Thanks for the recc.
I’ve read the other comments and I know that you will find your way into the crime writers world. Getting published takes great persistence (and a very thick skin) as well as a knock out script and having followed your blog for some time, I feel that you possess these skills in abundance. Best of luck in your journey.
Rebecca Bradley says
Thank you Jane, your comments mean a lot.
I hope to be able to see you at the festival one year. Your book is the next one I’m picking up! 🙂
Harry Bingham says
I’m an author with Orion and was lucky enough to spend a bit of time with Harlan Coben as part of Orion’s programme for the weekend. I can testify that Harlan is as warm, encouraging and genuine in private as he is in public.His books are quite good too …
Rebecca Bradley says
I Tell No One is apparently one of his greats so I’ll start with that one. Thanks Harry and glad to hear it wasn’t all just a front.
Rebecca Bradley says
Thats lovely to hear it wasn’t all a front Harry, thank you. I’m definitely going to get myself one of his books!
Martin J Frankson says
I was there when you spoke to Ryan David Jahn and while you praised his work, you conducted yourself very well and intelligently. That final flourish of “don’t take him away” etc, well that was funny and it shows a sense of humour too. There’s nothing to reproach yourself over
I do know what you mean and personally I have stopped going up to writers (or musicians ) to tell them how much I like their work. Firstly I tend to be over serious and secondly I can almost see the ‘here we go again’ veil fall over their faces.
That’s just me though. It’s hard to come away from such encounters without feeling like a wally even though one is not.
Published authors are humans too (most of them!) and I’m sure they do like hearing praise first hand. I did find however that they did tend to be dragged away a lot leaving me standing there like a lemon sometimes halfway through an unfinished sentence but this happens a lot at any gathering or party.
Rebecca Bradley says
Thanks Martin. I did find Harrogate particularly hectic and several conversations were stopped midway for various reasons with either me as the one stopping or left hanging. It’s full of people wanting to catch up, with a feel of so little time that it has a constant rush feel about it all. If I’m there next year I think I’m going to take it at a much more relaxed pace 🙂