Today I want to talk about the lack of posts on the blog this year, so far. And my lack of interaction on social media as a whole. The reason I want to bring it up is I’m probably not alone and I think sharing it and identifying with others might just help someone else know they’re not on their own with it.
I threw myself into the Christmas festivities at home (in the run-up to, and during) and it had a knock on effect for my health. My pain levels in my head and neck increased incredibly and my energy levels depleted to practically zero.
My batteries ran out.
The thing is, I do generally find it more difficult to cope with living like this – in constant pain and fatigue – in the winter months, and this is where I think other people will identify with me. That dull feeling in January. Because not only am I living like this, but I’m overcome with this complete and overwhelming lethargy. It’s not sharp and spiky and horrible like that. It’s more like a feeling of being inside dark cotton wool. It’s not uncomfortable, but I have no ability to move and no inclination either. I’m wrapped up (inside the house) and I don’t want to do anything. I don’t feel anything. (Other than the pain from my head and neck). There’s no joy or excitement. Summer went. Christmas went. All that is left is darkness and wet and cold. Oh, and pain and fatigue to top it off.
I do recognise this as routine for me. It happens every year. It’s not something to worry about. I know I cope better with my illness in the Spring and Summer months. I want to hibernate in the Winter. To hide away. To stay in my bed and read for the entire season. I don’t want to get up early and walk the dogs. I don’t want to go out of the house and I certainly don’t have the energy to be spontaneous. If it’s not in my diary it’s not happening. I’m sure many people feel the same about the seasons.
The lovely Helen Fitzgerald suggested a SAD lamp. So, I’ve ordered one. It’s on its way and I’m hoping that once I start using it I’ll find the energy I need to cope better with the general day-to-day illness. I’m still reading and writing on a daily basis so that is keeping me going.
But, as far as the blog is concerned, I am trying to keep it ticking over as best I can so I don’t just disappear. I will be back with more energy. Hopefully, as soon as that SAD lamp comes!
How do you cope with the winter months?
Ian says
Completely relate to this. With our chronic conditions Winter is terrible. I hope the lamp works and if you need to talk just reach out. Ian
Rebecca Bradley says
Thanks Ian. I’m really keeping my fingers crossed for the lamp as it’s not much fun. I’m sorry you relate. Maybe think of a lamp?
MarinaSofia says
I also use a natural-light lamp, and try to get out into the daylight for a bit each day (although it’s been raining solid for two weeks, so not much chance of that lately). Exercise is also supposed to help, but that is probably not feasible in your case.
Wishing you the very best and I am here to talk if you need to.
Rebecca Bradley says
Thank you Marina. I really appreciate that. Even when it’s supposed to be daylight, it’s just grey and overcast so I’m not sure how much good it actually does during the winter? It’s so bleak. Listen to me! Do you find the natural-light lamp helps? I would love to exercise, but no, it’s not really on the agenda for me right now. I do walk the dogs first thing in a morning and it forces me up and out of the house every day which is a good thing, though I’m hating it at the minute.
Steph says
Hope that the lamp works for you Rebecca. Never really noticed the winter months when I was working. Apart from it always being dark going to and from there. But since being made redundant I have noticed a big difference. Hate being housebound because it is too wet to go out. Walked out this morning to get milk( and creme eggs ssh?) and feel different straight away. But itching for lighter mornings and some frost.
I wouldn’t worry about the blog, many are quieter at the moment.
Rebecca Bradley says
Thanks Steph. I think you’re right about the frost. It doesn’t seem as bad as the damp. It also seems to brighten the day up as well. I’m glad mine isn’t the only quieter blog, though I hope they’re not all for the same reason. It’s not a pleasant place to be. I hope a bit of frost makes you feel happier soon.
Lindsay | Bookboodle says
Hope the lamp works for you Rebecca as looking forward to more of your police procedural posts. Take care 🙂
Rebecca Bradley says
Thanks Lindsay. I’ve been thinking about those posts and that I need to do one, but they do take more thought and work than others. Fingers crossed the lamp comes soon and I get some energy and life in me!
Susan says
Rebecca I really feel for you – I know I get very down and not motivated when we have a few dark days or a few days of rain. I am reminded by you and Cath Staincliffe every day to be grateful for the sun I have with such regularity. I have also been in a difficult place because of the Christmas season which goes on and on. Only starting to come out of the funk now.
I miss you on social media but because you are so honest with your situation I know that when you are MIA things are not so great in your life. I applaud your openness and it does help others when we tell our stories.
Rebecca Bradley says
I’m sorry you’ve also been struggling Susan, but glad to hear you’re coming out of it. Fingers crossed this lamp will help me and I’ll also be coming out of it soon as well. And yes, I think people do know I’m struggling a bit when my social media goes quieter. It’s because I’m usually so noisy! 🙂
writerdsnelson says
I think a lot of people suffer from SAD, we just didn’t used to talk about it before. I think it’s good we do. I too find January and February morose.
This year I’m trying to eat fresh food and lots of greens to keep my energy up and of course having Bean means I’m not allowed to stay in bed, much as I’d like to. I also try and make sure I have one social thing to do each week so lunch with a friend, visiting family, a class or a trip to the local moviola. Then at weekends I pretty much insist that on one of the days we all go out together as a family. I try and make the social day in the week Wednesday, that way the week’s broken up a bit and then the weekend to look forward to.
Routine helps me but that’s the way I’m wired and we’re not all wired that way. Hope the light works Rebecca and don’t worry about the blog, we all have blogging lulls, and we’ll all still be here when you reappear 🙂
Rebecca Bradley says
Thank you! I know I should probably eat better as well. It’s one of those things that takes effort though and it’s chicken and egg material, I need energy to make that effort but eating better will give me some of that energy…
It is good having something to make us get out of bed though, otherwise, yes, it would be so easy just to stay there. Today is so grim. The wind is howling and it keeps trying to snow. It’s bitterly cold. Routine also helps me. I run off my diary. Also like you, if I was going out for lunch I would try and make it for a Wednesday to break up my week 🙂
My lamp has arrived today since I wrote the post and I’m now sat in front of it as I type. I’m hoping that it starts to help. I hope you manage to get through the rest of your January and February ok. Maybe consider a lamp if you need to?
writerdsnelson says
All these things are easier said than done aren’t they? :-/ A lamp is something I’ve thought of before so maybe I’ll have another look at getting one. Especially for the evenings as more and more now that’s when I’m getting the time to write. Little Beans is starting to want a lot more attention which means mummy is not allowed to sit at the computer for any length of time lol 🙂
jenanita01 says
I normally just grin and bear the long dark days of winter. Plenty to keep me interested in doors. But this year is different. Recently had surgery for breast cancer (which went well) and now I have the flu. Wretched just doesn’t describe the state I’m in. Struggling to keep some optimism going, but I know this too will pass and things will be better when the warm weather returns.
I really hope the lamp helps, and don’t worry about what you don’t get around to doing, it’ll still be there when you feel like it. So will we…
Rebecca Bradley says
Thank you for saying that.
I didn’t realise you had been through that surgery. I am glad to hear it has gone well. And I hope the flu goes quickly. I know it is going around a lot at the minute. It’s another one of those things that makes January miserable isn’t it? Colds and Flu always seem to rear their heads at this time.
My lamp has arrived and I’ve plugged it in. Fingers crossed it does its stuff now.
jenanita01 says
Reblogged this on Anita Dawes & Jaye Marie.
Alex J. Cavanaugh (@AlexJCavanaugh) says
Sorry you feel so dark cotton wool bad. Several others have mentioned that January is just so blah for them and they just don’t feel with it. Like Christmas ends and depression sets in. So you’re not alone.
Rebecca Bradley says
Thanks Alex. My lamp arrived today after I wrote this post, so I’m hoping it helps relieve some of these blues and balances me out a bit.
crimeworm says
I’m so glad you mentioned this. I’m pretty listless from November until March-ish, depending on the weather. Further north we get even less daylight (how do they cope in Iceland – apart from writing best selling crime fiction?!) I know I’m not the only one round here who feels like this. Plus, as it’s a tourist town, it empties, which makes it feel even more depressing. So I’ll be really interested in hearing how you get on with your lamp. I hope you feel better soon.
Rebecca Bradley says
Thanks Linda. My lamp came today after I wrote this post. I have it on now. It’s a lovely bright white light. I think it will probably help, but I will do an update post in a couple of weeks. I know what you mean about Iceland, it will be really grim and dark up there! Saying that though, it is high on my list of places to visit, though living there, would have the same negative effects that living here has.
I’ll let you know how I get on, you might be interested in one yourself!
pamcroft21 says
So sorry you’re having such a difficult time, and hope the lamp works – incidentally I’ve been told that sunshine though glass doesn’t relieve SAD symptoms – you need to actually be outside (which is not necessarily a good idea in winter).
Rebecca Bradley says
Thanks Pam. And yes, I believe that you need to go outside and unfortunately, when I walk the dogs it’s dark so I’m not actually getting any of the daylight. Also, I’m not sure any of the daylight is getting through anyway as it’s so grey and bleak in January.
My lamp has arrived and it has a wonderful white glow. I shall update in a couple of weeks about how it works!
Margot Kinberg says
I understand exactly what you mean by that lethargy, Rebecca. My daughter used to go through it, too, when we lived on the US East Coast and in the Midwest. We got her a full-spectrum lighting system for her room, and that made a world of difference. I hope the SAD lamp will help you. In the meantime, we understand if you can’t blog as often. We still love your blog.
Rebecca Bradley says
Thank you Margot, that means a lot. I’m glad to hear that the lighting system did work for your daughter. I am hopeful this light works for me. It arrived after I posted this and I’m sat in front of it now. It’s such a clear white light. I’m hopeful it will help.
Rena George says
January is a horrible month. I don’t think many of us feel very motivated at the moment. I can only imagine how much worse it must be for you, Rebecca. Good that you are still reading and writing though. Take care. And keep blogging when you can. Your followers are not going anywhere. xx
Rebecca Bradley says
That’s so kind of you to say so. And yes, isn’t January grim. My light came today after I posted this. It is lovely and bright and a really clear white. I’m quite hopeful it will be helpful. I’ll update in a couple of weeks.
nancyrae4 says
I live in Colorado and it gets DARK here! Six years ago I ordered a SAD lamp and let me tell you…it makes a difference. It takes a while to find the right amount of time to use the lamp, but it is SO worth it. I started with 10 minutes per day, now I use it 30 minutes every morning. I start using it first week of September and will begin tapering off in late February. It can make your winter life much more even and enjoyable. Good luck and let us know how it goes. And, btw, your blog is the best!
Rebecca Bradley says
Thank you Nancy!
I’m really pleased to hear that the light works for you. Interesting as well that you start using it quite early. I’ll bear that in mind and start using mine like that this year. It came after I posted this. I already like it. It’s larger than I expected and it has a wonderful bright white glow to it, so I’m hopeful. I’ll update in a couple of weeks. 🙂
Jacqui Murray says
No worries. Take your time. I’d be interested in the lamp–if it works.
Rebecca Bradley says
Thanks Jacqui. It’s arrived and I like the look of it already. It’s larger than I expected and it has a lovely bright, white glow. I am hopeful that it will be helpful. I will update in a couple of weeks and let you know. But, I’ve heard great things about them, so fingers crossed!
laurasbookroomblog says
Totally feel for you my lovely , I’m so sorry you feel this. It isn’t nice a) having a chronic illness b) suffering things besides it. I am going to try the lamp keep us updated on how you are cos we really care ?. Let us know if it works for you.
readingwritingandriesling says
Wishing you sunshine and energy Rebecca. (maybe visit Australia in your winter) 🙂
Annalisa Crawford says
And January has been particularly dull and horrid this year – so much rain! In general, I cope by getting outside and walking the dog everyday, but I realise that might not be an option when you’re living in pain. A SAD lamp is a great alternative. I hope it works for you.
Gwen says
My situation is entirely different from yours, but I’ve been doing similar things. I woke up at 10:30 this morning. I didn’t push the covers back to 11:30. Personally, what helps is having something scheduled. It’s a little thing to look forward too. Weekly meetings with friends at a cafe. Nightly chats with people cross country (while we write, of course). I try to even make up errands to leave the house every day – not that that happens – but I try. Oh, salt for the driveway ice? Sure, that’ll get me out of the house for 30 min.
Even online events help, they get my spirits lifted for a bit. A new released chapter of a podcast novel. A twitter/blog event. Simply things.
i wish you luck and hope April comes soon.