Today I want to talk about the lack of posts on the blog this year, so far. And my lack of interaction on social media as a whole. The reason I want to bring it up is I’m probably not alone and I think sharing it and identifying with others might just help someone else know they’re not on their own with it.
I threw myself into the Christmas festivities at home (in the run-up to, and during) and it had a knock on effect for my health. My pain levels in my head and neck increased incredibly and my energy levels depleted to practically zero.
My batteries ran out.
The thing is, I do generally find it more difficult to cope with living like this – in constant pain and fatigue – in the winter months, and this is where I think other people will identify with me. That dull feeling in January. Because not only am I living like this, but I’m overcome with this complete and overwhelming lethargy. It’s not sharp and spiky and horrible like that. It’s more like a feeling of being inside dark cotton wool. It’s not uncomfortable, but I have no ability to move and no inclination either. I’m wrapped up (inside the house) and I don’t want to do anything. I don’t feel anything. (Other than the pain from my head and neck). There’s no joy or excitement. Summer went. Christmas went. All that is left is darkness and wet and cold. Oh, and pain and fatigue to top it off.
I do recognise this as routine for me. It happens every year. It’s not something to worry about. I know I cope better with my illness in the Spring and Summer months. I want to hibernate in the Winter. To hide away. To stay in my bed and read for the entire season. I don’t want to get up early and walk the dogs. I don’t want to go out of the house and I certainly don’t have the energy to be spontaneous. If it’s not in my diary it’s not happening. I’m sure many people feel the same about the seasons.
The lovely Helen Fitzgerald suggested a SAD lamp. So, I’ve ordered one. It’s on its way and I’m hoping that once I start using it I’ll find the energy I need to cope better with the general day-to-day illness. I’m still reading and writing on a daily basis so that is keeping me going.
But, as far as the blog is concerned, I am trying to keep it ticking over as best I can so I don’t just disappear. I will be back with more energy. Hopefully, as soon as that SAD lamp comes!
How do you cope with the winter months?