OK, today I’m going to play the proud mum.
At the last half term my little boy – who isn’t so little now – but is still only in year 5, was tasked with writing a story. It had to have an attention grabbing beginning, an exciting middle and an interesting story end.
As a mum who writes, I loved that he was going to do this. So, I asked “Do you want to hand write it, or use my laptop and type it on there and print it out?” He chose to type and print.
He sat there studiously typing away for just over an hour, maybe an hour an a half and after finding the word counter button, found at the end, he’d written 1,200 words. I was thrilled with his enthusiasm. I was even more thrilled when I read his story. He’s agreed that I can share it here with you. So I’m going to share my little boys first long piece of typed story. Please bear in mind, I did not edit it for him as that would have been cheating and obvious to his teacher if it had gone in perfectly. This is, as was written.Embed from Getty Images
Write an attention-grabbing story beginning:
All you could hear was THUD THUD THUDas a giant celestial bronze Giant came plodding over the mountains. Its eyes crimson red,its metal body shining in the hot, humid sun, it was so BIGit was nearly the size of the empire state building. It was surrounded by thousands of millions of tiny robots (average man size)swarming around the machine. As it plodded across the city, crushing anything in its path, fire men, and SWAT machines, came roaring in with guns firing and sirens ringing
Write an Exciting middle for a story:
The robots were wrecking New-York city; tearing down buildings, knocking cars over, and much worse things. By the time me and my friends reached it the streets were full of robots most of the people had fled, except the odd people “well this is a mess!” I shouted over all the noise “why are people still here!?” Marcus asked. Marcus was a black boy with short braided hair with hazel coloured eyes, not the tallest of people but a good friend to have. We all looked around for a second, the people who didn’t leave didn’t look scared at all, they looked…angry. Adam said quickly “those aren’t people Marcus they’re… CYBORGS!” Adam was a blonde haired kid that’s spiked up with blue eyes, he is loyal and friendly when he isn’t fighting. We all looked at each other confused “I guess these robots capture people by turning them into robots there-self?” Marcus added “Jamie (me), any ideas?” Adam asked “To be honest with you guys I don’t but we cant just stand here and let our New-York city burn in flames can we?!” I answered. I was a tanned boy with long mousey coloured hair I’m quite tall with brown eyes . I drew my sword and my friends did the same “Is celestial bronze affective to celestial bronze?” Marcus questioned. Adam came in with the reply “ I’m not sure but it is affective to the small robots, they’re made of iron” we kept checking behind us in-case anything got close “We can’t hurt the citizens!” I added, Adam and Marcus nodded simultaneously. “Lets do it!”
Write an interesting story ending:
Okay I must admit this wasn’t my greatest idea of all, me, Adam and Marcus, ran straight into the mob of robots, slashing and hacking with our sword at any robot we saw, the robots were fast (sort of) but not fast enough for me, Adam and Marcus
the robots used small daggers, some had shield not all but some, unlike us 3 we had big round shields. I was right in the middle of kicking a robots butt when a robot with a full sword and shield came running up to me and slashed my sword right out of my hand. Clink-e-t-e-clankthe sound of my sword dropping to the floor about 7 metres behind me, “GUYS!” I shouted. Just then when the robot pointed its sword to my neck SLIiiiiiiCE! The sound of iron being sliced apart was like hearing a chisel being scraped across a chalk board, the robots head fell of to reveal the face of Marcus, he had a ‘I just chopped someone’s head of’ sort of face on, “OH MY DAYS Marcus you, you saved me, thanks man!” I shouted with relive, me and Marcus exchanged smiles 🙂 “What are friends for? Marcus asked sarcastically. Adam came running up to us, his face covered with oil and hands red raw, but other than that he looked normal “guys only a few more then we have to face big ‘n’ ugly over there” the giant robot was heading towards Brooklyn bridge at this point
“Then what are we waiting for lets clean up the last of these robots!” Marcus added.
And with that we carried slashing and hacking at the robots until only the cyborgs were left “we’ll deal with them later, now lets get the big guy!” I shouted, we began chasing after the humongous robot “what are we going to do if celestial bronze doesn’t affect celestial bronze?!” cried Marcus…
“Um I don’t know, but we will just have to try!” Adam replied, when we were nearly next to the robot I spotted something from the corner of my eye. A news helicopter! “Guys look a helicopter!” I pointed out “anyone know how to fly?” Marcus said “No, but I have a plan: I fly the helicopter, up to the robots head find the control hatch and shut down that stupid machine!” I suggested Marcus and Adam both looked at me “you could get killed, dude” Adam said trying to persuade me not too “ its worth a shot guys” I said, Adam and Marcus both exchanged nervous looks “okay, just try NOT to die” Marcus pleaded “don’t worry I’ll try my hardest not to” I said, with probably my last look at my friends I headed towards the helicopter. The helicopter was more sophisticated then I expected there was a big joystick in the middle and lots of glowing buttons (I totally had the urge to push them) and some more strange looking things. I pressed the button on the joystick and…. CHUG CHUG CHUG! The helicopter roared to life, it rose higher and higher and HIGHER Until I was the hight of the giant’s neck, by now I could hear the cranking gears in the robots system . My heart pounding as I stand by the open door of the helicopter, my breathing becoming heavier and then… I launched my-self with all the strength in my body. I landed straight on top of the giant robots head. “AAH that hurt” I panted, my legs just cracked, I stretched them a minute then they were fine. I began to look around I looked down at the robots neck and saw it: a small hatch with a handle “Score!” I thought to my-self I climbed down to the hatch and opened the flap. Inside was a screen so you could see what the robot saw with a small control panel. The panel had a button that read ‘auto’ I guessed that meant autopilot also there was a joystick to control the legs and other stuff but what caught my eye was a BIG red button that read ‘self destruct.’
I didn’t want to push it but I knew I had no other choice so I shut my eyes then……….BOOOM!
I had completely blacked out until I was awoken by Marcus and Adam by my side trying to wake me up. I opened one and Marcus blurted out “JAMIE!!! Your alive!!!”
“I told you I wouldn’t die” I coughed. “okay help me up” I said, Adam and Marcus began to sit me up “what happened to the robot ?” I asked. I began to cough a minute, “he plummeted to the bottom of the ocean and you came flying out the opposite direction we were lucky to find you” Adam said. “what about the cyborgs?I asked “They became human when the robot went kaboom”Marcus answered. I gave them both a smile and put my head down “I guess that’s over” Marcus added to cheer me up I jumped in quickly “Oh Marcus that’s not the end of it no defiantly not, when I was in the robots control room there were plans about mas-producing thousands of giant robots, Guys this isn’t over its just the beginning”…
thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I did writing.