The title of this post about sums up my past few weeks.
Maybe one word would cover it. Intense.
I signed with an agent. A writers high moment.
From that come the edits before the manuscript is submitted to editors. This part I love. Yes, more than the first draft. First drafts are yawning great sheets of nothingness. Revisions and edits are skeletons to work with. A frame. One massive safety net. A bloody massive tangled safety net, but it’s there just the same. You can see what it is you’re meant to be saying. But I’m impatient. I want to have it done yesterday. So I try really hard to make myself sit down and work daily, no matter how fatigued I’m feeling. One to two hours a day. After the day job.
But the fatigue is hitting me. It’s the pain in my neck. An old whiplash injury I think. My neck is loose – as is all of me, because of the EDS – and it’s giving me a lot of pain. I’m seeing a physio, but the pain is dragging the fatigue through my bones like standing in rain in heavy clothes with no coat. So I rest as much as I can. Between the day job, infrequent social commitments, writing and family.
Last week I had that conversation none of us wants to hear. The C word. A close family member. Operating early July. A couple of weeks from now. I need to be able to offer practical support. Whatever that is. Runs to the hospital. Meals. Etc.
So my down time I spend reading. It’s still my writer self working. You need to read, to be able to write. So whenever I am far too fatigued to do more, I read. In a horizontal position.
But, if I miss a day here, on the blog, you’ll know why. My brain refuses to come out to play anymore in time to write a post. This shouldn’t happen often. My determination is still here. Today’s post, it’s taken me ten minutes. Yes, I know, you might say, I can tell!
DJ Kirkby says
HUG! x
Rebecca Bradley says
Thank you xx
emmal85 says
Rebecca, you’ll get through it. Reading is a great way to relax and take your mind off the stresses. I hope that you can get through the next few months, and congratulations on your signing- what an achievement. 🙂
Rebecca Bradley says
Thank you Emma
helenphifer says
Big hugs Rebecca, it’s a tough old life and the dreaded C word sends a shiver of terror down my spine so thinking of you lots x
As for the editing good luck, it’s hard work, frustrating at times and in my case I wonder will it ever be done or will my MS just keep on coming back to me. But the good thing is just think how much better they will be after the process.
If the reading helps to take your mind off some of the stress then that’s just brilliant and isn’t that exactly what it’s for, what we write for? To take our minds off everything and transport us to a different life, time zone, world, even if it is just for thirty minutes.
Helen xx
Rebecca Bradley says
You’re right, this writing thing can distract you from almost everything. Thank you xx
carol hedges says
keep going. I have the C word almost permently hanging over me…..so far so nothing. Read, write little pieces…..walk…breathe the fresh air. Be.
Rebecca Bradley says
It’s a horrible work Carol and it’s flipping awful how many people in life have one connection to it or another. I’m doing what my body tells me at the time, like you say. If I feel like reading, I read. Energy to write, I get lots done. Blog for ten minutes, here we are. Next several hours in bed 🙂
yasminselena says
Sounds intense Rebecca, Sorry to read the C word in there, do your best to pace yourself and schedule rest in your day, even programme it in on your alarm clock/,mobile alarm so you stick to it if you have to. xx
Rebecca Bradley says
Thanks Jasmine and you are right. I cope better with some scheduling and organisation. A beeping phone may not be a bad idea. I shall look that up tonight! xx
fcmalby says
So sorry to hear all of that, Rebecca. You need a break somewhere in amongst the hectic schedule that is life. Thinking of you. F
Rebecca Bradley says
Thanks Fiona. I do break. I lay in bed and read. Rest and writerly all at the same time 🙂
Elle Turner says
I’m sorry you are having such a hard time, Rebecca. Sending you my very best wishes xx
Rebecca Bradley says
Thank you Elle, they are very much appreciated. xx
Jane Isaac says
Sorry to hear this Rebecca. Make sure you take time for yourself, to rest and relax. Jx
Rebecca Bradley says
Thank you Jane my friend. I am taking more rest breaks than I maybe previously would have. It is helping my productivity strangely, because taking care of myself is actually having a positive effect on myself. x
jadereyner says
Sorry to hear the rough time you’ve been having and I wish all the best to your family member. Times are tough and sometimes it all comes at once. If it’s any consolation, I have an old whiplash injury too which plagues me daily – sometimes more than others and it is completely draining and debilitating when it is bad. I’ve had physio, osteo, massage and chiropractic treatment over the years but nothing seems to shift it permanently. Hope things pick up for all of you soon and try to keep positive…..:-(
Rebecca Bradley says
I know persistent pain like that is hard to cope with. I hope you look after yourself also. Like I’m trying to do, rest when you can, it does give an extra energy boost when you don’t expect it. Thank you for your support Jade. x
kittymobile says
Got to love horizontal reading positions! Sorry to hear about the family upset. I hope all goes well and it becomes merely a bad memory.
As for the agent – congratulations! Make sure you give yourself a big pat on the back between the busyness and the upset – you deserve it. Who have you signed with?
Rebecca Bradley says
Thank you Kitty, I was immensely thrilled and giddy about my agent news! As for everything else, I’m sure it will be fine. Horizontal reading positions are helpful 🙂
CortlandWriter says
Rebecca-Hang in there! Keep the good positive attitude and take care of yourself. Best wishes with all that comes your way.
Rebecca Bradley says
Thank you. The good wishes are much appreciated.
sharonsant says
You know how I think you are amazing! You deal with everything life throws at you and give it back twice over. My love, respect and admiration are yours. 🙂 x
Rebecca Bradley says
Thank you Sharon. You know there is a mutual admiration society going on though 🙂 xx
Susi Holliday (@SJIHolliday) says
Thinking about you. Don’t forget to look after YOU or else you are no use to anyone. True. xxx
Rebecca Bradley says
Thank you Susi. Lots of reading horizontally. It is helping as well. I feel better, then pop up at my laptop and do an hours work. I am listening to my body more. I think it’s the only way I will get through at the moment. And I have to be fit for Harrogate!!
Linda King says
You are being really sensible in taking the pressure off yourself – and no excuse is needed to lay down and have a read! The C word is so frightening – have been there more times than I’m happy with, with family members and friends. Sending very best wishes all round xx
Rebecca Bradley says
Thank you linda. It is incredibly sad how many people understand so clearly the C word. I really wish they’d hurry up and sort out vaccines or something. It’s heartbreaking and scary stuff. xx
Claire McComisky says
Thinking of you, Rebecca. Sending positive thoughts and hugs x
Rebecca Bradley says
Thank you Claire. They are genuinely much appreciated. xx
Alex J. Cavanaugh says
Rebecca, I’m so sorry! Prayers for you and your family. Don’t worry about us – deal with your family and edits.
Rebecca Bradley says
Thank you Alex. I do miss posts, but keep being drawn back! I miss you all! 🙂 Thank you for your genuinely kind prayers.
diannegray says
I hope you’re feeling better soon, Rebecca. There’s nothing worse than that sore neck – it brings everything down and is really tiring. I’ve just been informed of the C word with my mother, not a pleasant message. Big hugs to you, my friend xxx
Rebecca Bradley says
I’m sorry you’ve had the message as well Dianne. It’s a worrying time. Take care of you and yours. Hugs back xxx
Vikki Thompson says
HUGE (((((hugs))))) honey
xxx
Rebecca Bradley says
Thanks Vikki xxxx
D.A.Cairns says
Life, huh? Stay strong in the fight, Rebecca.
Rebecca Bradley says
Yep, life. Thank you. It will be fine.
Peter Domican says
Families are always more important than blogs. Do the things you need to do.
Rebecca Bradley says
Thank you Peter. They are. I try to do both. It’s tiring. Hence the missing blog posts, but having been listening to my body and gathering some energy back, I may be able to keep this going with only the odd few missed. We’ll see. Time will tell. Thank you.