The title of this post about sums up my past few weeks.
Maybe one word would cover it. Intense.
I signed with an agent. A writers high moment.
From that come the edits before the manuscript is submitted to editors. This part I love. Yes, more than the first draft. First drafts are yawning great sheets of nothingness. Revisions and edits are skeletons to work with. A frame. One massive safety net. A bloody massive tangled safety net, but it’s there just the same. You can see what it is you’re meant to be saying. But I’m impatient. I want to have it done yesterday. So I try really hard to make myself sit down and work daily, no matter how fatigued I’m feeling. One to two hours a day. After the day job.
But the fatigue is hitting me. It’s the pain in my neck. An old whiplash injury I think. My neck is loose – as is all of me, because of the EDS – and it’s giving me a lot of pain. I’m seeing a physio, but the pain is dragging the fatigue through my bones like standing in rain in heavy clothes with no coat. So I rest as much as I can. Between the day job, infrequent social commitments, writing and family.
Last week I had that conversation none of us wants to hear. The C word. A close family member. Operating early July. A couple of weeks from now. I need to be able to offer practical support. Whatever that is. Runs to the hospital. Meals. Etc.
So my down time I spend reading. It’s still my writer self working. You need to read, to be able to write. So whenever I am far too fatigued to do more, I read. In a horizontal position.
But, if I miss a day here, on the blog, you’ll know why. My brain refuses to come out to play anymore in time to write a post. This shouldn’t happen often. My determination is still here. Today’s post, it’s taken me ten minutes. Yes, I know, you might say, I can tell!