This post is a dual purpose post. It is part of both the A to Z blogging challenge and Aprils Insecure Writers Support Group post which is a monthly blog hop hosted by Alex Cavanaugh. You can find the sign up list here. Just look at me multi-tasking!
Anyway, I want to talk about having confidence in yourself and feeling happy and comfortable, with yourself and your decisions. This is something I have thought about quite a lot recently, specifically in relation to my writing, but it can obviously apply to life in general and how you approach and deal with things.
When I was much, much, much (OK I’m old) younger, I was tormented a little at school. I hate to use the word bullied, it doesn’t feel right in comparison to what some children go through nowadays. Anyway, I was vertically challenged (I’m a little on the short side) and I wore a fixed brace on my teeth, which at that point in time wasn’t very cool. I had the nickname “Jaws” from the James Bond films, for a while. I was obviously upset about this, my confidence took a bit of a bashing when all I wanted to do was fit in with everyone. I didn’t see why it wasn’t working out that way.
Eventually as I got older I toughened up a little and made the decision that if a someone wasn’t interested in me as a person, then they weren’t worth worrying about. They were not a loss from my life because they had nothing to return to me in a friendship. This has worked for me. I’m still completely open as a person, but if someone wants to be an arsehole with me, then it’s their problem and I leave them to it and worry no further.
That was until I decided I wanted to be a writer, with a career as a writer. This created a feeling in me, of needing to fit into a massive “club”. This has caused a relapse of about *cough* years.
It’s taken a while, but I have now recognised that my old values still ring true and all I need to do is just be me. Yes my writing will speak for itself (or not) but as far as fitting into the club, I don’t need to fit in. I’m good just the way I am. I’m accepted or I’m not. My friends are real friends and I’m glad to have them. They know who I am, not who I think they want me to be, and I now have that confidence to not need the acceptance. This has freed me, helped me make some decisions and made me happier. I’m not saying that there have been problems, but there have been my own perceived issues. Feelings of needing to be something in particular. A mold to fit. But there isn’t. And there shouldn’t be, anymore than being honest and polite will get you in any situation or any organisation.
Please, if you’re striving for something, anything, don’t give yourself up to achieve it. If you are happy with you, then others should be happy with you. Have confidence in yourself and you know the old saying – Those who care don’t matter, and those who matter don’t care.
Please tell me you have that confidence in yourself and don’t judge yourself by others opinions. You are worth more than that.