This post is part of Alex Cavanaughs monthly Insecure Writers Support Group blog hop. A great place where those of us working beaverishly (Is that a word?) away at our manuscripts, short stories or poems, or whatever else takes our fancy for writing, can chat, moan or enthuse about that very topic. If you haven’t yet joined and you write, why not give it a go? I’ve found some great blogs and bloggers since joining up.
This months post is a question to my blogging friends. A short and simple post. A request for any tips on dealing with the rejections that I am about to get coming through my door as I keep sending my manuscript out into the world. Yes, there may be moments of light – maybe, but lets not kid ourselves, I’m going to be reading some pretty straightforward template rejection emails/letters.
How do you suggest I deal with that initial feeling of distress and end of the world feeling?
A – Throw myself on the floor and throw my arms and legs around until something breaks. Either me or some close by furniture.
B – Scream into the heavens that I’m misunderstood and they obviously couldn’t see the genius in front of them and later satisfy myself that it’s their loss.
C – Make voodoo dolls and stick pins in them.
D – Make death threats to anyone who dares to reject me.
E – Drown my sorrows in a well deserved glass of wine, check for any reasonable feedback and send back out on it’s cold little journey again, because we don’t give up.
Any other idea’s that don’t fit into these five categories would be much appreciated! How do you deal with any rejection you have had to deal with?
Voodoo dolls!
Just check that publisher or agent off the list and move to the next.
Sounds very sensible Alex ….. After the Voodoo dolls 😉
Rebecca – Personally, I’ve always liked the idea of voodoo dolls. You see, death threats get you on all sorts of nasty watch lists. Who needs that? You could of course make those people the victim in your next mystery if you write crime fiction. That’s cathartic too.
In all seriousness though, what I do that helps me is this. I give myself a little ‘wallow’ time. Rejection is hard and if you don’t acknowledge that it seethes. Then I look for any good advice in the rejection (e.g. ms too long/short; characters need development, etc.). I make notes to myself. Then I delete the ‘no’ email or toss the letter once I’ve gleaned from it what I need to learn. Then I go back to what I’m writing. Of course that doesn’t help much when you get a ‘no’ letter without specifics, but I always try to balance what I can learn with my desire to scream ‘You have no idea what you’re talking about!’ 😉
I’m glad you said Wallowing is allowed. I think there’s definitely going to be some wallowing and with wine. But not for long. Maybe ten minutes. Okay, maybe a little longer, but then it;s done.
I think preparing myself for them now, is probably the best way forward. I’d better get busy on making those voodoo dolls then 😉
I box. I have a boxing bag. I find hitting and kicking inanimate objects that can’t shed blood to be most therapeutic for a good vent and my muscles love it lol. I took it up in the Maldives in 2002 when a man who shall remain nameless made me livid at least once a week, my students found it fascinating seeing me in the gym donning a pair of gloves and going for it, normally still clad in a nice, demure dress : ) xx
Boxing actually sounds a great release of pent up energy. I’m sure my body would love some kind of exercise, should I ever take it out the door for some!
I love yasminselena’s boxing tip above. I’ve never tried boxing, but in my head I’m Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality with a bag in her living room!
Other than that, I just move on to the next publisher in my list. In fact, even when the submission is out I try to half-convince myself that I’d prefer the next one on the list, so I don’t suffer disappointment. Because I’ve been doing it so long now, I can shrug off rejections quite easily.
I’m at the stage where I’m telling myself I don’t want to hear back because no news is good news right? 🙂
All of the above… and on to the next victim!
IT’s a continuing cycle isn’t it. Thick skins needed all round.
After a tapestry of obsenity (I know, we shouldn’t, but if it works…), drown your sorrows if you must, but only one glass – keep the rest for the celebration when the deal comes in:))
I like the idea of keeping the rest of the bottle for the celebratory one that comes in Jane. Your faith in me! Thank you xx
Hmmm… I tend to shrug it off, because I apparently wrote a very good (with 15/20 query letters getting personalized rejections) but unpublishable ms. :-/ The way I see it, I’ll get the agent I need. Not one I thought I wanted but end up being sidelined because they weren’t 100% excited in the first place.
To be honest, I do tend to feel the sting, and that’s it, I move on, I know it’s a long haul process, so it’s about mental preparation as well. I hope things are working out the way you wanted them now Misha.
I agree with Marina…ALL of them, then, put them all aside for a day or two. Let the words have time to sink in, to percolate. Afterwards, go through them again, this time with an open mind, with new eyes and a fresh perspective. Always remember, every rejection brings you closer to publication. Also, sometimes it helps to not look at it as rejection but as a notice to you that says “this isn’t the right agent/publisher for me” Keep casting the bait. Something big will eventually bite and run. I hope you’re holding on when it does because it’s a wild, wild ride and worth every tear, every curse word and every voodoo pin you ever poked!
I love that last sentence! I will definitely keep trying. I think it’s just wired into us isn’t it? There are many a times my head has just told me to stop doing this writing thing, but I can’t. I’ll keep moving forwards. 🙂