So, you hate it at work, the boss is an over-pompous arse or a complete and utter bitch. You’d obviously do a much better job. But there’s only one problem, Okay, two; your boss loves it there and you’re only the paper-copier and tea-maker.
Here’s what you can do….
- Belladonna: You could make your boss a fruity tea for a change, using the berries, tell them it’s good for them, get in their good books, then watch them die a slow and painful death as they become disoriented, hallucinate, become aggressive and feverish before convulsing, coma and death.
2. Hemlock: Another plant, but this time you’re going to see the results pretty quickly. Well, five to ten hours quickly. And as their body dies you get the joy of knowing their mind is alive and well until the end.
3. Pufferfish: You might have trouble getting hold of this little fella, but it’ll certainly do the trick, but only if you do it properly because there’s a 50/50 survival rate and people are known to be left in zombie like states. (oh, maybe you don’t mind that!)
4. Nicotine: Now we’re getting into quicker territory. Usually within four hours your boss will be toast after poison by nicotine. You might have to get a bit creative on how to deliver this one though. Maybe mix it into their hand cream and watch as it depresses the brain and spinal cord, paralysing skeletal muscles including the diaphragm.
5. Rhododendron: Yes, you read that right, the good old Rhododendron bush is going to be the one that rids you of your boss about six hours after ingestion.
I hope that helped. Happy hunting! 🙂